Spies for the Patriarchy

I’ve had some ideas for this blog for a long time, but between work and other projects I haven’t had time to flesh out the concept–I still haven’t! However since Calpernia Addams showed up and mentioned her intention to add links to my recaps to the Transamerican Love Story blog roll (the first of which I put up on a whim, and is basically just a copy/paste of a forum post I made to summarize the episode to some fellow spies who don’t get LOGO or have the means to buy the show on iTunes so we could all discuss it) I’m assuming that now Andrea has linked us, traffic won’t be exclusively friends and fellow “spies” who I badger with a link long enough that they click it out of pity, but also people who might have a genuine interest in Love Story.

However I’m concerned that some of you from that last group might be anywhere from kinda miffed to horrified about some of the comments made in recaps or poking around in previous entries. Read on if you’re interested in finding out what we’re on about before writing your congressman demanding an executive order to shut down my server!

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WARNING: If you are not familiar with this site or blog (which is almost everyone since it’s really new) you might not quite get the style and what’s going on. You can read more detail at the entry for Episode 5 but the tl;dr version is that the premise of this blog is that it exists in an alternate reality where transsexuality is more like race is now in the civilized world. It’s not stigmatized or feared, it’s just amusing and a different perspective and life experience. Coming from the viewpoint of reality the tone may seem harsh or offensive, but this is how many of my friends and I deal with our day to day realities, and it’s quite cathartic to us. Our apologies if your reaction is different. Besides, oh god oh god Calpernia might actually be reading this oh god oh god oh god, and this episode had a vastly different tone from the last so maybe this is overkill.

ALSO SPOILERS AHOY

THIS WEEK’S EXCUSE FOR NOT JUST WATCHING BUT PAYING FOR A REALITY TV SHOW: Calpernia’s hot, ok, sheesh.

Yarr, there be spoilers matey

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WARNING 1: SPOILERS AHOY! Though I’m posting this about like, last week’s episode so hopefully you’ve seen it by now. But just in case here you go. For those playing at home I wrote this in a private forum and I figured it’d be fun to put on here that’s why it’s so late.

WARNING 2: If you got linked from some other trans site, be warned that we have a very unusual sense of humor around here. Hyperbole and self-depreciation are just the beginning. If your tranny senses get tickled easily, this might not be the blog for you. A good way to tell, for example, would be to decide if you were offended by that last sentence. If the answer was “yes”, maybe go visit Susan’s Place or something. If you leave ragey comments we’ll just laugh Also there’s lots of naughty words.

WARNING 3 IF YOU’RE CALPERNIA ADDAMS OR MAYBE EVEN ANDREA JAMES: For starters… oh god oh god oh god hi thanks for coming we’re honored <3<3 I gotta warn you girls tho, the things I say may sound a bit derogatory or flippant and dismissive of the work you’ve done, especially out of context. This is NOT the intention, and the community behind this blog is all huge fans, myself possibly the biggest. In the more private parts of our community, our sense of humor involves a kind of tough love and a sense of humor about our situation that helps us cope with our reality. Part of this includes mocking homo/transphobia and transgender stereotypes by taking them to a hyperbolic extreme. I could write essay upon essay on why this is cathartic for myself and others, and make a case that it’s far more effective than the “PC” tactic of shutting up people who say horribly bigoted things (it boils down to “let them make the rope to hang themselves with”, basically). I probably will, sometime, but not now that’s not what we’re here for. Just know we love the work you both do, and if you think anything said here sounds “mean” it’s because it’s missing a lot of back context with a lot of personality and history that we just can’t disclose openly, and know that this comes from a place of admiration. Or to put it another, simpler way, this was written from the perspective of a fantasy world where a transgender-themed dating show is no big deal and it’s discussed with the same cavalier attitude as any other cable network exclusive. In this world, Calpernia and Andrea aren’t the ground-breaking, sorely-needed role models they are in reality, but rather just another couple of very attractive actresses who happen to be trans. As such, the attitude is a bit more free-wheeling and open, and includes kind of a “trannies are like do do do and cissies are like de de de” branch of humor that is similar to the racial comedy you see every day on Comedy Central where ethnicities and cultures are a central theme, but the jokes celebrate the oddity and uniqueness of the broad spectrum of human culture. They’re not meant to divide. Surely, you’d agree that that would be a wonderful world to live in, where “tranny” stereotypes are joked about in good nature and come from an understanding of what’s involved, and not that lame-ass “SHE’S A MAN, BABY” crap that we have now.

THIS WEEK’S EXCUSE FOR NOT ONLY WATCHING A FUCKING REALITY TV SHOW BUT PAYING GOOD MONEY FOR THE PRIVILEGE: I’m happy to watch something about trannies that isn’t a fucking glorified transition vblog for once.

You’ve been duly warned, click for more. Read more »

Recently there’s been quite a hubub over a Youtube video of an Oklahoma lawmaker (Rep. Sally Kern, to be exact) going on in front of smallish group of Republicans about how teh gayz are pretty much teh debil and all going to hell. I won’t make you find it because thanks to the magic of interwebnets web two point oh technologie I can put it RIGHT HERE:

So yeah. This has become kind of a big deal, apparently. As such, it’s REALLY fun to watch people bicker about it over the internet. It’s interesting to juxtapose a somewhat serious issue over people who are not only complete retards on their own, but they’re on the internet which makes it about a million times worse. It IS an interesting question of free speech–even as a Twenty Seventh Degree Lesbian Spy (I have a female OK Cupid profile and everything!) I have a hard time calling this hate speech. I do, however, call it politically unwise speech. She has every right to say what she’s saying, and the voters have every right to lambast her on youtube and campaign against her for being massively retarded and believing in stupid shit.However, as long as there is free speech, there will be people who use it as an excuse to be a total and utter jackass, much like kids who get their parents to push for an ass burgers diagnosis and go around the rest of their life acting like they’ve been given a Free Jackass Pass instead of just paying extra attention to learning how to not piss people off like people with real asperger’s do. So yeah, not only is the topic interesting, watching people be stupid about it is that much more entertaining (if not depressing). Comment with some of your favorites, I’ll do the same if I have time

http://www.topix.net/forum/source/kwtv/TSG5B8P35IEIR7IMS

From the “Becoming A Real Womyn” Department

OK check this out, it’s pretty cool: http://www.news9.com/Global/story.asp?S=7988777

Apparently you can remove hair pretty well with cotton string! I love the theory of it, I wonder if one could do it to themselves, or how hard it is to get good at. Sounds a lot more pleasant than waxing and epilating, but it’s probably slower.

I’ve heard much grumbling about the primaries that ask just how a gay and/or trans person could support Obama since he’s just not out there with a huge rainbow flag talking about gay rights every other minute. Well lo and behold, those of us who trusted that if he was right on practically everything else he’d be right about this, too, probably won’t be disappointed when he’s president.

Equality is a Moral Imperative - An Open Letter to the LGBT community

Good to note that he uses LGBT throughout the letter, indicating there’s a chance he just might not sell his faithful recon agents down the river.

Well, looks like I have one less reason to feel guilty that Florida has been disenfranchised in the Democrat primary.

Dying Lesbian’s Partner Denied Access To Her

But just as they were about to depart on the cruise from Miami, Florida. Pond, a healthy 39-year-old, suddenly collapsed. She was rushed to Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami with Langbehn and the children following close behind.

But once Langbehn and the children arrived at the hospital the hospital refused to accept information from her about Ponds’s medical history.

Langbehn says she was informed that she was in an antigay city and state, and she could expect to receive no information or acknowledgment as family.

A doctor finally spoke with Janice telling her that there was no chance of recovery.

Other than one five minute visit, which was orchestrated by a Catholic priest at Langbehn’s request to perform last rites, and despite the doctor’s acknowledgement that no medical reason existed to prevent visitation, neither she nor her children were allowed to see Pond until nearly eight hours after their arrival.

Yeah what the hell. Florida is the worst. Can we get a constitutional amendment disenfranchising them forever? We’d really all be better off.

Alternatively, insert a joke here about Florida being America’s wang and how it’d be better off if it got SRS. I think you get my drift.

Venus Envy seems to have died for now, so let’s make our own! Best one get 10 whole e-kudos!